Acceptance

First, there is denial. Not too painful a phase since our brains are busy cushioning or even downright blocking out reality.

Next, there is rage. It is oh-so-ugly that I wouldn’t want to be seen within a meter (yup, social distancing is the IT word right now) from it. Ask my poor fiancé; he knows just how ugly it can get and of late, have had to face it almost daily (albeit over FaceTime and chats).

That being said, I’ve decided to skip by writing about the first two phases and jump straight into the third.

Acceptance.

A majority of us, if not all, would probably receive a few forwarded photos, some links, inspirational quotes, funny videos and maybe a couple of unquestionably offensive ones daily via the many social media platforms. We would, maybe have a good laugh, smile stupidly, get mad or simply feel meh about it, and then move right on with our lives.

Sometimes, though, a random share would resonate more strongly than the rest. It would stick for a bit and make some sort of an impression. I had one of those yesterday and it read something like this:

Accepting that not all days are good and happy, you will have bad days, you make mistakes, you fail, you mess up. Everything’s not going to fall into place and that’s okay.

What is acceptance?

I could Google and then cut and paste the definition here but I won’t. Instead, I’ll explore what acceptance is and isn’t for me.

Many a time when someone states that they have accepted a situation, it is coloured with tones of resignation.

Acceptance is not resignation.

I see acceptance as an embracing of a situation wholly for what it is.

The difference here is perspective. When we have wholly accepted a situation without colouring it with helplessness or resignation, we hold the power to take action. Whilst we have little power over things outside of our circle of control, we can still take actions on the areas within that circle.

With a shift of perspective, we conserve the energy normally expended on defeatism for the areas where we could positively invest the said energy. For example, with this very current and real Covid-19 situation and the social restrictions that come with it, I cannot change the fact that there is a need for certain restrictive measures. However, I could use the time and space that come with the restrictions to work on areas that matter to me, such as my yoga practice, my writing and bonding with my family.

Instead, had I “accepted” the situation with resignation, then oscillating between the rage and acceptance phases is inevitable. This would result in my wasting a tremendous amount of energy on unnecessary blame and anger, and ultimately be rendered incapable of working on the areas that truly matter to me.

In a nutshell, true acceptance grants power and with that, we stop becoming victims of circumstance.